'als' on the imperative of words, every day

i just spent saturday to thursday away from home, away from the computer, away from the 'net.

away from writing

i took my notebook, but i was with the family, parents, my wife, my son, friends i haven't seen in a while...

i didn't write a thing

i got back on late thursday, logged on to bc, set my usual targets for the coming month, and thought - right, tomorrow, back to it

i still haven't written a word

you see, i've fallen out of the habit

already, after less than a week, that blank screen looks more impossible to fill than it has in months

i've tried a few times

i've typed words, phrases, sentences - and i've deleted everything

awful

i've fallen out of the habit of thinking - ok the first words might be god awful, but keep going, keep going, keep going, because something, eventually, will stick

so i did my usual putting-off-writing exercises. i flicked around ezines looking for somewhere to sub to. i did other life-things.

i was fine while i was away, because i knew i was 'on a break' but now, these last three days, i've been miserable

i know i have to write, and i can't seem to do it

and i also know that it'll pass, because i've been here before, and i've finally put some words down, got that story out, or that poem, or that flash, and it's usually rubbish, but then the next one is ok, then the next better...

so, what i have to do is stop waiting for that moment when the words come back, and just sit down and write

this is a start. posting here. getting it out. typing words.

but the whole point is i think that i'm in this mess to start with cos i had some days off, where i fell out of the habit, and now i can't get back

i know this doesn't work for everyone, but i still think that 'words every day' is the way to go. because then it just becomes a habit. it becomes natural. at the minute, sitting down and writing a story, a poem, whatever, feels like the most unnatural thing in the world. but once i've done it again, it won't.

i know that 'words every day' is difficult, at times impossible. but so is writing. and at least to try to write every day, that feels like something worthwhile to me.