Being rubbish

For the first time in about five weeks, I couldnt sub anything this Friday and now I feel really annoyed with myself.

I thought I'd pull one out of the bag during the afternoon, I've managed it for the last month, but I ended up writing a load of tosh and couldnt bear to sub it.

Really trying to write stories that say something. A couple of weeks ago José Saramago was in Helsinki and I heard him speak in one of the bookshops. Brilliant man, very wise.

One of the things he said was in answer to a question about why he started writing so late. His answer was that beforehand he simply didnt have anything to say. I have lots to say but often I dont know how to say it. I read somewhere on BC, on one of the craft threads, how your story should support your theme, that it's the proof behind your conviction.

My main problem is that its still not a natural part of my writing to have a very clearly defined theme in my head before I start. Now I've decided to sit down and write a list of all the things about the world that really annoy, and there are many, then write stories to justify my views.

In the meantime, to rid myself of my sense of failure, im going to binge on chocolate, write a flash, polish some of my stories and do some crits.